January 08, 2004
DEAR NELLY: CAN I LOOK UP YOUR ASS WITH A PAPER TOWEL TUBE?
(Photo: Christopher Wilcha)
Nelly has a video called "Tip Drill." Great name, huh? Here is what passes for a hook: "It must be your ass, 'cause it ain't your face. I need a tip drill, a tip drill." The video is porn, only marginally qualifying as soft. The video ends with Nelly sliding a credit card between a woman's ass cheeks. If that doesn't pack all the fucked-up variables into one gesture, what does?
I'd be higher than Rush Limbaugh to suggest the men in the video are more degraded than the women, but gad, they look so joyless and fugly with their bottles of maple syrup or whatever the fuck they're toting around like blankies while they conduct their crunk gynecology clinic. People can't get enough of this shit, so it will keep happening. I am having neutron bomb fantasies about the jiggle kings. CLICK. BOOM. THUD, PLOP, FOOF. Throwback jerseys filled with ash and platinum litter the tennis courts, but the rims keep spinning... (The photo of Centralia, PA is a pretty good sketch of what I have in mind.)
Posted by Sasha at January 8, 2004 09:51 PM | TrackBack