October 12, 2005
MORE OF HARRIET MIERS' CORRESPONDENCE
Dear Angela Merkel:
How great are YOU? I cannot believe that Germany has its first lady leader! Let these congratulations be the first of many you will receive today. I was going to send a card instead of this dumb email, but Hallmark doesn’t have a category for amazing people like you yet! I have heard that you are building coalitions, and I want to be the first to applaud these brave and appropriate actions. Coalitions have been going out of business left and right here, and the big storm didn’t help at all. If there is any way you can raise any of the coalitions way above sea level, do that first. Anyway, you can instant message me at HarrietTHAspy102, or just call! I’m usually up, baking or just chilling! :)
Xoxo Harriet
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To Ms. Kate Moss:
I heard about your recent problems with substance abuse and I wanted to reach out and say hello. I may be a judge soon in America and I want you to know that if I ever have to levy a fine or impose a sentence on you, I would take the entirety of your life’s work into consideration. I am a huge fan of Elton John’s and trust that he would not endorse anyone who was not a principled and valuable member of society. (I was lucky enough to meet the man. What a teddy bear! So cool, so timeless!)
I do not know your work as an artist very well, but my close personal friend, Beatrice, is a fan of your work and says you should be able to work in peace without a million prying eyes disturbing you. I am of a similar mindset. And if you at any time have terminated a pregnancy, I think that—as long as you did a pinky swear to never bring it up—we could work around that.
Please write if you have any legal questions. I am pretty good with explanations!
Harriet Miers
Posted by Sasha at October 12, 2005 10:39 AM | TrackBack