July 01, 2004



Things I learned this week from standing in front of people while they played music:

1) Er1c C1apton says that he shot the sheriff. This is odd, because it seems like he probably has dinner with the sheriff and summers with the sheriff and, of a Saturday, motors down to the high street and shops for synthetic waffle-stitch Nike hooves with the sheriff. But maybe something went wrong with that whole insurance deal and Erick simply had to shoot the sheriff, though he would advise the young and impressionable not to follow his lead, were he given the chance to clarify his position.

2) The beat from "Tipsy" sounds much better when Dizzee Rascal rhymes over it.

3) Dizzee Rascal sounds best of all when there is no beat, and you hear only his rapping.

4) Dizzee Rascal was favored by women, 3:1. (Statistical significance and N of sample size not yet confirmed.)

5) Mike Skinner does not like leafy root vegetables.

6) That 1997 Roni Size style sure sounds good to me now.

7) Are all bands cover bands, since a live performance only ever approximates the pre-existing recording? Since this list uses the declarative, we will say: All bands are cover bands, since a live performance only ever approximates the pre-existing recording.

8) "Fit But You Know It" is apparently a "girls n' guitars romp," but we kinda think maybe it's just rock music.

9) What white people really, really want to dance to is reggae. Allatime reggae. Because those guys know how to party. No, honey, you can sit. I just love this song. Wooh! You remember when we first met? God, I hope our kids have a better RC than we did! Oh, look! He's going to do "Cocaine"!

10) Husbands went irrationally apeshit for high-necked boodley-oodley-oodley hammer-ons. In fact, if the entire show had been nothing but high-necked boodley-oodley-oodley hammer-ons, several people sitting in the VIP section would have fucking passed out from sheer admiration.

11) You look wonderful tonight. (This was hard to confirm statistically because of the thick and fragrant pot smoke, but apparently your brah Erikk can see the real you.)

12) Somebody actually said "C1apton is God." Like that. In The bathroom.

13) Mike Skinner told the last joke on this page.

Posted by Sasha at July 1, 2004 06:34 AM | TrackBack