COME SEE THE NOT FUNNY GUY

I will be appearing tomorrow night at Happy Ending for this Gelf magazine thing. Go here to read me being all Dullsville. If all we talk about is that goddamned article, we will hit the No Fun sandbar. But. You know. We can do that.

[AUTO-TUNE SIGH.]

CONFUSION

Katy Perry and her minders are vexing. There are so many things wrong with "I Kissed A Girl" and "Ur So Gay" that I hardly know where to start. If you are reading this, you likely don't need me to start; you can perceive these things by yourself. But here is where the paid assassins vex us!

"Hot N Cold" is a jam and, also, as casually misogynist as any of her other joints. But it has Max Martin in it, and when Max is on the chorus, I fear I could be led to participate in all kinds of horrible activities, simply by the indomitable nature of his sugar. Or, since I hate candy, Martin is conquering me with be a big fucking potato chip covered with Marmite and chicken salad ZOMG fuck this I am about to kill a LUNCH PRODUCT. (Max is on "Girl," but I don't think he could sell me on that crap unless he broke out something as rugged as "Since U Been Gone." And I know Dr. Luke is involved, but I have reason to believe the most killerest hook is Max.)

NEW, USER-GENERATED CONTENT: Keehnan Konyha writes: "The only thing that is easing the blow of Katy Perry's weirdo demographic grip and obvious, laser-sighted plan to ruin my life is Gangsta Boo's auto-tuned "remix" of "I Kissed A Girl." (She takes her sweet time showing up—like, two minutes.)"

140 IN A PAPER BAG

I seem to be doing this Twitter thing (verb form is impossible) more than I am doing this blog thing, though I continue to do that blog thing. This may change, it may not. Just being straight with you. I have a lot of pictures, and some things my boys say exceed 140 characters, so the lights will never go off here.

THIS FREE ADVICE THING WILL STOP SOON

After less than a week, the clear consensus is that the budget audiophile deck is the Rega P-1. I appreciate the fact that people bothered to think about the question and write in. I am lucky that people still visit the site, dry spells and all. I will make it up to you somehow.

Pre-amp? Some have voted for the Rega Fono MM, some for this NAD. And then we move on.

HELP

OK, my people. I hit the message boards, I combed the forums. I have a lot of information but no clarity. I need a good turntable, and the ceiling is $500. I don't want separate arms or fancy shit that doesn't actually do anything audible. Does anybody know about decent sound for normal people? I can't buy a Calypso or something. I really appreciate the input.

IT IS JUSTIN'S YEAR

Courtesy of Lucy Robinson. Tomorrow, I am on Soundcheck Smackdown, talking about bass. But I want to say this: in short: Thom Yorke, Grizzly Bear, Bon Iver, Sufjan, et al: return of choral singing: role of castrati: displacement of the religious urge. Something something.

Also? Arranging and memorizing songs is totally fun. I think it is why I cannot do shit like Sudoku; my brane is set up to memorize songs, and songs only. Sorry, math part of brane!

CHEAP LIBERAL BASTARDS

PBS couldn't license an actual break track? Nothing on Vintertainment? Mr. Rogers wasn't sleeping with Bob James or a Blackbyrd? That talented little boy had to dance to some public access porn channel music? Honestly?

DARK? HARK!

Nick: “I wonder whether we have trouble—aesthetically, not necessarily morally—with The Joker. Maybe he just bores us. He’s as predictable as any nihilist. His are the moves of the 12-year-old who discovers the get-out-of-jail-free card that is “Just kidding!” When words aren’t required to mean what they mean, it's draining. Characters pull out the rug: tedious and cowardly.

Batman is the ultimate mark, so obedient to Justice that he won’t knock the fucker off. Batman has to believe what The Joker says if he holds others to what they say. The whole premise of Batman vs. Joker is too blunt, which might be why I liked Tim Burton’s Batman more. Burton kept his movie away from the ideological battle between the two, and made it more about ideology itself: people really desperately want something to believe in, and The Joker’s system is more gratifying. Batman’s is the better choice but no fun at all.”

Me: “Is either value system (if either position deserves being called that) ever fleshed-out? And? Christian Bale wears on a fella. His only apparent character move is that Batman, too, will turn out to be morally fucked, which isn’t that interesting. Somebody in the movie needs to have some nooks and crannies and “dark” doesn’t get you there. “Dark” has become another get-out-of-movie-making free card, just like the “romantic” sequence in movies where a love story is established in simply by presenting a montage of ice cream cones and pillow fights under a sensitive acoustic jam. As an aesthetic, “dark” doesn’t (and can’t) automatically create tension and make moral choices complicated. It just means that everyone will turn out to be possibly or probably bad to the bone, which isn’t much of a revelation, or an engine.

I liked Michael Keaton as Batman.”

UNDOING TIME, CA. 1975

Your boy, at the 88th Precinct in Fort Greene, photographs courtesy of Jennifer Wingate Madding, a neighbor and close family friend during the seventies. More after the jump, including fingerprinting and a cell visit. My brother is in there, too. (Do kids still visit jails?)

“EMAIL IS THE NEW LOOPT”

I AM SELLING MY ENTIRE RECORD COLLECTION

More soon. As you might imagine, not easy. But also not boring.

BOO-YA TO YA

Pink.