January 08, 2005

A CRASH OF RHINOCERI

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If you think you couldn't possibly be a worse parent, go see A Number at New York Theater Workshop. You may have ignored perfectly reasonable questions, been short of temper when it was your job to be patient, and valorized your emotions over those of your dependent and less-developed child, but you didn't stow the kid under the bed and clone him when he started bugging you. Or did you?

I know it is totes the Banana Republic of klassikal, but Glenn Gould playing The French Suites makes me wanna ease back on my newly-laid plan for secret and ubiquitous sterilization of all people.

Why hasn't anyone noticed that turd hair salesman Nasir Jones, in a fit of "my brane will never win!" jealousy, jacked the album-by-album narrative of "The Takeover" for "(U.B.R.) Unauthorized Biography of Rakim." Dude—knowledge me this: even at his most boring, Rakim was a party rapper. You, my myopic mellow, are just drull.

I tried to link to Rhythm Division in Bow so I could say something obvious like "Go buy Kano white labels," but every time I enter the URL, my fancy pants proprietary Mac browser throws a crispy and flatlines. Silly war of the platforms! So '00!

Posted by Sasha at January 8, 2005 08:18 PM | TrackBack