S/FJ

SCIENCE GOSSIP, IN RUNGLISH

So, we writers of music are waiting to go on this talking show, and we see Mr. Rose on television screen talking with his mouth to the science genius people Wilson and Watson and he is speaking that "I have done more than 30,000 interviews and I think this is the best I've ever done." None of us have discovered DNA, so our chances of beating these scientists is not good, though our chances of hitting them is good, because they move slowly.

Mr. Genius Watson brings his body into the green room (which is not green) and says "Are you waiting to go on?" He puts on Bill Cosby's sweater. (I am thinking without saying it in my voice that maybe Bill Cosby is previous guest and scientist has stolen his clothing because scientists are not funded by government, wrongfully.) We say something stupid like "Yes." He says "What are you talking about?" "Popular music," Jon says, which is not lying. Watson pauses. Then he looks at my face with his eyes and says with his mouth "I always liked Dolly Parton." Today, while thinking, I wish that I was saying "Then, I like you, Mr. Watson," but I just said "Me, too." This is lost chance that makes me cry inside for all of time.

Then, talking on show is fun and not at all weird, maybe because I spend entire day thinking that it will be weird to do. Is impossible to see where camera is and I think maybe this is excellent. The making-up people use make-up to make us different colors but not the same color as Charlie, which is good for telling people apart with eyes.

I am trying, because of wishes to be good and kind, to listen again to Coldplay album, which is also about DNA or something that reminds us of DNA. We are saying last night it is mean that Gwyneth says bad things of Jon because Jon expresses his American right to dislike Coldplay. All of this talking makes my brain to think I should have generosity in my heart to Coldplay records, because I like very much “Head Filling Quickly With Blood” and “The Movie Which Does Not Make Up Its Mind.”

But, today, I listen to Kraftwerk-stealing band and I think maybe the album they make is all of horseshit, with feeling of hot air and very little ideas beyond strange idea to make large sounds without need of this bigness. We are excited by the prospect of going to St. Mark’s Place and selling this CD illegally for less than five dollars, which will buy us new scarf and protect us against weak, feminine American weather.

What was very exciting is that after the making of TV, we go to terrifying bar near The Bloomingdales. Drinking is never scaring us, so we pay for our Wild Turkey with bill marked “50.” American bartender, maybe sexually excited by our make-up, gives us the mathematical change of bill that says “100.” When we realize this, we hit table with hand and make plans to not sell Coldplay CD, because we are now rich like rich people.

(NOTE: Though this is written in stupid comedy dialect, it is all true: the Watson quote, the mistaken bill change, my not liking “X&Y.” But I would not ever sell a CD illegally. That I made up.)

Posted by Sasha at December 15, 2005 09:28 AM | TrackBack