July 10, 2006
ZZ'S TOP!
"Soccer—what a relief from baseball and all the steroid malarkey. No scandals, no national disgraces, no baffling instances of violence to explain to our kids—soccer's doing it big. Thanks, soccer! Just wait right here while we escort hockey from the building and line up your network deal."*
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*Two puzzled emails in the space of ten minutes leads us to believe that our indirection meter is turned up too high, and/or our faith in the legibility of theatrical irony and connotative language is unwarranted. So: we don't think soccer is a unified body, or an actual person. Further, all professional sports are potentially violent, both in and of themselves and as catalysts for crowd behavior; all are prone to corruption; and all are colored by moral impurities. The rant above is meant to average out the general American prejudices against soccer and the specific feelings of one frustrated father who had to watch the final with two boys under the age of ten who were, and are, confused and hurt.
