October 19, 2003
JOE QUEENAN SWALLOWS ENTIRE BOX OF STUPID PILLS; NONE LEFT FOR PEDRO MARTINEZ
Check the new Aggressive Klassik Rock Klown freeware used to generate Queenan's review of the new Stones coffee table book in the New York Times Book Review. If you're pressed for time, you can duplicate Queenan's methods at home: Forget the Stones' killer disco singles ("Miss You," "Undercover of The Night") and assert their musical conservatism as self-evident. Ignore the non-blues genres the Stones have pilfered and imply that rock itself is a static, closed practice (like shuttlecock). Rank Mick Taylor's more visibly chopsy genius above Keith's less visible syntactical genius. Make fun of Brian Jones for the wrong reasons. Allege that the making of Backstreet Boys records is not a complicated, detailed process. Snap on a music writer for the sin of loving the Stones in public (possibly because they got the gig you didn't). Insult Sheryl Crow for no apparent reason, and then create a false battle between Justin Timberlake, R.E.M. and Stones for a crown of your own devising. Collect check!
Posted by Sasha at October 19, 2003 05:24 PM | TrackBack