May 11, 2004

ROCKISMALISM

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The actual campaign for Fuse TV, a product I know nothing about, is a not actual campaign for a not actual candidate named Haymish. You can see this double dribble advertisement circulating through NYC on the sides of buses. One of the taglines being used is "No health care for one-hit wonders." This is the kind of rockist piffle we do not truck with, so fuck you, Haymish, and the bus you rode in on.

In the same vein, here's an old item we'd like to shit on right now. (I wasn't around when it hit, so don't email me your little red pen marks.) Should I ever be asked to guest lecture on the subject of rockism, and I can't convince Mark Sinker to do everyone a favor and take the gig, I will hand the following clipping to the youth. They need read no further than this passage from Dave Grohl's Playlist, originally in the New York Times Arts & Leisure Section:

"BRITNEY SPEARS -- Take it from me, the airplane videos get 'em every time. Long gone are the days of Britney's high school pep-rally dance routines. Proving once again that she will not be outdone when it comes to pop sleaze, she's back with ''Toxic'' (Jive), four minutes of ''Showgirls'' meets 007. Here, you get three flavors to choose from: Britney the blonde, Britney the brunette and Britney the redhead. Without being nasty enough to really cause a stir, she manages to make out with about 27 guys in the course of a few minutes, although it's hard to keep track, what with all the hair dye going on. Oh yeah, then there's the song. Kudos to the mad genius who finally wrote the musical equivalent of brainwash. Deprogram me, now, please."

The day Dave Grohl writes any "brainwash" as focused and tough as "Toxic," he may actually convert someone who's never heard Nirvana. The day he gets over his "female desire = sluttiness" problem, we'll take his face off the dart board. (She kisses about three or four guys, Dave, if memory serves, and what are you worried about in the first place?) And when he realizes that parodies are fair game for everybody, he will become, on that day, a man.

Posted by Sasha at May 11, 2004 12:23 PM | TrackBack