S/FJ

THIS WEEK IN ROCK

Spending the week at Fireproof with John Agnello, doing vocals, overdubs and mixing. We should have seven loaves by the end of the week. If you don't hear from me, please know that I am thinking about whatever it is I was supposed to be thinking about. (Listen to the Kim Deal message on John's site—it's worth it.)

THE PLAY IS STILL BEING PERFORMED

Just think of the days off as long, long pauses. (The move from Feydeau to Beckett, we call it here. Or, we don't.)

I TELL YOU, THIS WEB THING IS CATCHING ON

Good review of Larking About On The BMT With Sy Sperling. Most pointy point: even the not very classic "Alive" is more song-like than any of the rhyming rhymes on 2 Tha Purple Urban I. A sense of perspective—as in distance traveled and relative size, not emotional wisdom—is absent. Listen to "Ch-Checking Out The Checking Out." Something is missing. That thing could be one of any many variables. Without it, we have to ask: How long does the song last? 5 plus minutes. How long does it feel like it lasts? 47 minutes. Time does not always have a seat on the plane.

And the video? Mayhem at the nostalgia buffet, everyone grabbing and nobody's got a plate. Guys, it's all in your head now—we can't see it or hear it. Also on point: the lack of instrumentals is a plus. (Can you imagine a whole album of instrumentals? Wack!)

Compared to their staggering heights, 2 The 5 Beez iz crizap. Out of the blue, though, it would at least make its own case through concision.

UH HUH HIM

Here's the Real Audio archive of yesterday's Soundcheck. My waffling starts around 33:00.

TO DO LIST: Improve mic skills, delete "genius" from vocabulary, take "uh" pills.

Forgot to mention that "Should I Go," from Afrodisiac, samples Coldplay's "Clocks."

WE USE "BORING" IN MY HOUSE, BUT "UNREADABLE" WILL GET US VALUABLE COLLEGE CREDIT

Since a computer writes most of my, like, sentences and, like, stuff, it is only fitting that one of her own should judge the results.

(Wait, the headline's been changed and I'm no longer "unreadable"! No fair! We were this close to being on a panel. Damn you, Dentonians!)

SO THIS IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE WRONG

Terribly, terribly wrong.

SANDWICH BOARD

I will be on WNYC's Soundcheck today (Thursday), between 2:40 PM and 3:00 PM. After the Wilco segment. That's 93.9 on your FM dial, if you're in New York.

CATHARS NEVER REALLY DIES

Joe Gross assists:

"Cathars get reissued on the daily, to the point where they hang around like ska, be they in the form of Jung's rants or Joseph Campbell's rant (both of whom, like the first-wave of hardcore Gnostics, have had hotly debated accusations of anti-Semitism following them around after death) to Philip K Dick's VALIS delusions or "The Matrix" or Grant Morrison's "Invisibles" or obscure Harold Bloom books."

SING IT THIS WAY, LISTEN LOUDER

The Cathars were so badass. I hope they get reissued.

1. Toxic.
2. 99 Problems.
3. My rattles.
4. Mya.
5. MIA.
6. Elvis Costello.
7. My rattling head.
8. Burstedness.

There's a good piece about speaking French in the new Threepenny Review.

Do you have thruppence? Mayhaps.

MUST LAY HEAD GENTLY ON FLOOR

Here is a nice long interview with Nellie McKay. Sad to see someone I like stumped by hip-hop, partially for the right reasons but in a larger context of missing the boat. Still in favor of the rest. Will see her tomorrow at Carnegie if Le Madge's emanuensis gives me the Heisman.

This new Black Dice album is the best hangover album EVAH.

I SOUND MORE N.E.R.D. THAN BARRY WHITE, BUT WHATEVS

I didn't know this was going to be on the radio today. Now [repeat previous observation about always-on-the-airness of web radio].

SO MUCH BETTER THAN ACTUAL WORK

Hey, Wilco released an album. Hey, K. wrote about it. I can go back to worrying about mandibular nerve damage now.

EVERYONE SWITCH SEATS

All up in your area, 'causing mass hysteria, the beat will bury ya, so get your shots for the malaria, lose a role to Hank Azaria, Mark E. Smith is still scary-uh.

WHAT'S WORSE THAN BEING FIRED? BEING SMOKED!

Courtesy of Jeanne Fury:

When the idea has run out of steam, simply light it on fire.

HI

Hello.

WIND

This will be closer to actual blogativity because I am tapping this out on a wack, Soviet-style hotel PC and I have no access to my pictures and sites load so slowly that I cannot, in good conscience, rack up cc minutes looking for a funny picture to accompany the word "paper."

Rented bikes, rode to Crissy Field and back, lamented lack of jacket, saw the SFMOMA, took the Precita Eyes tour of street murals, had a pupusa or two, saw Harry Po$$er and The Azkaban Dude (my favorite of the three, so far), did not lament how easy a mojito can be had, slept the way a parent never sleeps, read Sunday paper in similar manner.

That Danuta de whatever book is annoying, more like "Houellebecq+Hornby" fed through the Guy Ritchie-izer. Will be enormous, will entail theme park. Sorry I momentarily fueled the hype train. (Wait--I am the worst tip sheet in the world. Even mentioning the book has doomed it. Ah!) Finished the book by reading maybe three words on a page.

Disappointed that two different indie bookstores here told me that NO biography of Wallace Stevens exists. One most certainly does, in two volumes, written by Joan Richardson. Not encouraging. Keep your game tight, people.

I don't even have to point out the unacknowledged logrolling in that DJ Shadow playlist, right? You can do that all by yourselves. (Next week, Chris Hitchens profiles up-and-coming novelist Martin Amis! In his home! etc.)

CAN I HANG MY JAW FROM MY NECK?

Sitting in the Hotel Triton here in lovely SF, ready to commemorate 10 years of the state's approval for my union of love. I discovered, not like discovered but realized duh, that if you have bangs and play the acoustic guitar and have adorable boots and say "How you doin'?" in a French accent, I probably think you are the greatest artist of music in el mundo. If you are also Keren Ann, it helps. If you are also playing an event where Silk has sponsored the shindig and someone is handing out undrinkable pina coladas, it doesn't help.

They have free beer and wine here for an hour, every day. Saints preserve us.

The idea that anything was closed today to "mourn" Reagan is still making me foolishly mad, like I am going to change anybody's mind by snapping about it.

I think there was no lady more lovely than mine own when she had bangs and did play the acoustic guitar many years ago and so I will now leave the interweb to find her and bumble up and down these streaky hills. I saw Dirty Dancing 2 without sound and it went like this: 30 minutes of pouting, 50 minutes of dancing, 3 minutes of pouting, 15 minutes of dancing. And somebody shot somebody.

There is a woman named Danuta de Rhodes who has written a very brief novel called The Little White Car, which is the book a computer would write if fed "Houellebecq+Gwyneth Paltrow" and set on "large type." I enoyed it, especially when the two female leads got drunk and called Roxette's greatest hits the "best record ever."

The titanium post in my jaw is green. My son did not lie. I apologize.

THE WAR BETWEEN HTML AND PLAIN TEXT

All of the below comes from timbalandheaven.com. I'm only posting this brief digest because the site is a bit wonky with the backgrounds and the words are hard to read.

"LL Cool J is filming the video for his first single, called "Head Sprung," produced by Timbaland.

Destiny's Child will reunite in the studio June 1 to begin recording their first album in three years. They have contacted Scott Storch, Timbaland & Kanye West. Nothing has been confirmed!

In addition to Rick Rubin, Lil Jon has already recorded tracks with R. Kelly and Ice Cube for his new album "Crunk Juice", and he recently co-produced a track with Timbaland which Jon says is going to be the most monumental hip-hop track this year. Lil Jon says he "admires Timbaland's vision for the sound."

Brandy's "Afrodisiac" hits stores on June 29th. Producers include Timbaland, Kanye West, Scott Scorch, Missy Elliott, Mike City, Linda Perry, and Walter Millsap.

Timbaland is working with a Japanese-American born singer named Utada.

Timbaland has worked with Lloyd Banks on a called "I'm So Fly" and it will be Lloyd Banks' second single. Timbaland has also worked on 50 Cent's upcoming LP.

The Ludacris follow-up to Chicken-N-Beer is titled 'The Red Light District'. Producers for the album are Timbaland, Lil Jon and The Neptunes. The album may drop in the fall.

Ms Jade and Shelby Norman are no longer with Beat Club records. The label now houses Bubba Sparxxx, Kiley Dean, and newcomers John Doe and Attitude.

Slated producers for Tweet's new album "It's Me Again" include Missy Elliott, Souldiggaz, Craig Brockman, Timbaland, Vidal & Dre, and Nisan Stewart. Shawnna's new single "Shake That Shit" was produced by Timbaland. Her debut album is titled "Worth The Weight" and is scheduled to drop in June."

AVAILABLE FOR OCCUPANCY, NO FEE (PLUG EXTRA)

HEATSINK

Post-Carnegie Hall, all I want is Juana, but I make myself wait. First order of business: 14 colored plastic discs, 5" diameter, cut at Canal Plastics. Come home and rock Text of Light, DJ Trio, Morals and Dogma and Moco. Replace twelve light bulbs, sweat. Step back. See the light, feel the heat, leave the A/C off, turn up the noize. David, what happened? How did you become one of those people?

BT x 2

I wanted this to be a Beatles + Metallica mashup, but it seems instead to be a live band playing the Beatles in the style of Metallica, or the reverse. Or something. It didn't do much for me on first listen. There is a link on this page to Bit Torrent software, which I hadn't previously downloaded. That was worth the trip.

DON'T BORE US, GET TO THE CHORUS

Two ways of cutting to the chase.

THE MAN, NOT THE MAN STANDING NEXT TO HIM

There are so, so, so many reasons you don't want to hear from me right now: intemperate blueness; incapacitating anger (pick up any cultural product, ask yourself "Which age/race/class cohort is responsible for this product and how blind are its members to the fact that all this product is doing is reasserting cultural epiphenomena as social facts?" and you'll probably come up with a decent facsimile of my dystopian mindblood [accidental death metal name alert]); a new titanium screw in my mouth and a head full of hydrocodone; David Bowie last Friday; 20th high school reunion Saturday night; I didn't catch the last Sopranos so don't fucking ruin it; yadda yadda. I'm useless.

But we love this man for many reasons. You should go spend time with him.

THIS ENTRY PROCESSED THROUGH THE DEHYPERBOLATOR V. 3.1

Oh. My. [-----------------------------] PJ Harvey, who is the [----------------------------] and the [--------]. Her show last night at the Knitting Factory was [---------------------] out of [---------]. She wore a tight yellow dress bearing the image of either Sidney Bechet or her younger self in combat boots* and red satin heels. Because she is [-------------------] and also [--------------------], I think that [-----------------------]. Rob Ellis is still her drummer; new bass player Dingo (from The Fall!) and guitar player Josh Klinghoffer are both very tall. The show started with the song from Uh Huh Her that contains the words "uh huh her." When she started to shimmy and do her little stomp, I [--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------] my brain [----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------] run away to the circus. [---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------], or when a rhino fucks the wall and all the people are given free health care. It was one of the [----------------------------------------------]. I would [------------------------------------] to [--------------].

* Apparently an old tour t-shirt repurposed by violinist Clare MacTaggart.

NEXT STEP: LOCK SELF OUT OF HOUSE

That worked brilliantly. I didn't post for about 16 seconds.

MEMORANDUM

Dear Guerilla Black:

That song "Compton," that uses "I'm Glad You're Mine" and "Bam Bam"? That's nice. And "Trixx," the one that's basically "Tipsy"? That's fun, too. And that "Guerilla Nasty" song, the one that condenses a bunch of dancehall rhythms into one and uses the background-singer-addresses-the-MC trick? Definitely worth a spin.

A note of caution, though. (You probably don't read the blog, so I should point out that the following comment has nothing to do with valorizing originality or buying into any concepts of linear progress. It's just about safety.) If you don't release your teeth from his style, Biggie is going to come back from the dead and turn you into Guerilla Black and Blue. Just a thought.

Yrs,
s/fj

BREAKFAST IN THE PYLONS

Posting will slow to a crawl soon. Think of it not as a downturn in the economy but as a move from vertical to horizontal production. Or think of it as the difference between spring and summer. Or just click over yonder and go out dancing. For God's sake, just go out dancing.

Sporadic and dilatory as it all gets, I will be posting answers to previously received questions. If you want to ask one, go ahead with your bad self, but get ready to hurry up and wait.

FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT OR TRANSLATING ALL EXPERIENCE INTO THE LANGAUGE OF SHOPPING? YOU MAKE THE CALL.

I assume you've seen this. If not, now you have.

Unrelated, except it is also short: This Arthur Russell segment aired yesterday on NPR. Now it can air whenever it wants.

TASTY, BRUTUS AND MARTIN SHORT—HOBBES PLAYS VIGOROUS GAME OF TELEPHONE WITH SELF

If all this jumping of ropes is wearing you down and you'd rather dwell on your foreshortened prospects and the fact that bad deeds often go unpunished, it's time for Lodger! Lodger is from Finland, where "Karita Mattila" is much stronger Googlebait than "Janet nipple." We only know this because Alex Ross told us. We do know, from first-hand experience, that if you are in and out of a sauna three times a day, you are less likely to be worked up about nippage.

Confusingly, there was an English band called Lodger about five years ago. They were also cynical. They are not the same band as the Finnish Lodger. This Lodger, as you will have clicked and seen, has an A+ Flash game and an album you should probably buy through their site because there seems to be no other way to get it and you probably want it. Reference points include The Auteurs, though the Finns up the yuks and dial down the lit, holding bleakness constant.

JUDGING ALL ARMOR BY ITS FAULTS

When I'm not busy trying to figure out if I'm talking about my shirt or where I bought it, I'm listening to popular music. Cheap, fast and portable, popular music has admirers around the world!

You could lose a morning listening only to Ce'cile, who is faster than most. Once loaded, her website spontaneously generates musical music, which is like third base on a first date for this webizen: wrong 'em, girlo. Once past this moment, I found her coherent and respectful. If there is a rhythm you like, Ce'Cile has likely versioned it, and well.

And if you get hooked on Nina Sky's version of a version, you may be tempted to walk through the gateway to the similarly single-singled Ciara, proud owner of a doubly happy cookie: "Produced by Lil Jon and featuring Petey Pablo." (Her website seems to be more intended than actual.) Pablo steals the tune, though, so learn that lesson: be careful whose engine you hook your wagon to.

THE WIND THROUGH THE PLANE TREES

We pride ourselves here at s/fj on being up to the minute, give or take six months. When the editor was released from his hyperbaric chamber this morning, [Ed.--You are heading for a pronoun logjam. Ease up.] what did he find? "Galang" by M.I.A., an almost un-Googleable artist. It seems both cheap and obvious (like that would stop us) to point out that, with no reference to the genre of rock, "Galang" rocks the promotional sweatbands off Mash Out Posse, an album by some musicians we don't know and M.O.P., an almost unfadeable artist. The idea of Posse is to make manifest the implied headbanging in M.O.P.'s music. Ah hah. We wonder like Wayne: Did they not see the ruts in the road? Did they think competition in this field was light? Could they not get the Soul Brains to back them up? And what exactly is going on? "Take My Breath Away," the first track on Jacki-O's Official Bootleg, is yet another honorable placebo that finds its place in the world only when the "I am trying to program a rock drum roll" moment rolls around. Find this moment and you will find Technology Precedes Genre, chapter 13, page 52. Great things happen when one idea cannot be realized and another bumrushes the stage. When it happens twice, that list of genres at AMG (an almost unusable website) gets one longer.

Is rockless rock what happens when your main audio source is Playstation 2? If you put down that joystick, drop the kutchie and take a stroll around the Interthing, you'll find things like this, which does an admirable job of matching roommates from different countries. Because I love it when the races unite and shit, I have love for this particular pairing. And because I love it when the races unite and, like, pay $7 for a soda, I am sad that I am once again missing Hot 97's Summer Jam. The hint of Jadakiss is almost enough to lure us away from the thrill of playing chess against outdated university mainframes.

(I just realized I can ask my kids to bring me beer. They're much closer to the fridge than I am. Sweet Jesus, it took me a long time to figure that out.)