January 31, 2009
who is on twitter
people who are just back from a really awesome run
people who are involved with “computers”
DJs
DJs at the airport
DJs who are drunk
people who don’t have anyone’s email address
people who are mad at television
people who have forgotten how to email
people who have forgotten how to text
people who are involved in “social networking” and optimizing the power of re-Tweeting and “computers”
people who can’t find a reasonable picture of themselves
people who really like the news
DJs at the airport
people who are hungry
rappers
people who are cold
people who are back from an OK run
people who can’t figure out what to feed their kids
Shaquille O’Neal
people who have never seen snow
Rachel Maddow
forty-five people I’ve never heard of who all invented the internet
people who are concerned about the collapse of the publishing industry
people who like Battlestar Galactica
rappers who are eating food
DJs
people who are about to go for a run
DJs who want to know where you are
people who are mad at Twitter
people who are mad at rappers
a nun
DJs
(revised 2.1.09, with advice from @leh4 and @slarkpope.)
January 28, 2009
lose yourself
Nice gun-cam.
I’ll tell you what year it is. TOO CONFUSING09.
Points for staying on The Island.
Time travel. Back to Oxford to teach lil Thom Yorke the ukelele.
“Why am I asking? Because it says in the script—OH HAI, BIG PHYSICS DEPT. SIGN.”
The energy source on the island is a bomb? Is that what exploded two, three seasons ago?
(I think this show may be over. Accepting suggestions for new show to watch.)
“Old.”
“I am your best chance at disarming that bomb.” 21st century bar chat. Goes well with “I am good at making food and currency from old Learning Annex booklets.”
Most obvious joke ever, but this show is now perfectly named.
Endless supply of hot chicks in wife-beaters with guns on The Island.
“Me and my friends also are releasing a single called ‘The Beat Is Gonna Get You.’”
WIDMORE! JACOB! THE BAND IS GETTING BACK TOGETHER! (OK, this is the first good bit yet.)
Penny sounded like Björk.
Annoying mindreader dude said something funny. And The Island moved. I think.
(How little do you kare if Kate keeps Aaron?)
pay it around
Someone’s been good to me today, so I’m going to rustle around here in my kit bag and try to make the internet shine a little bit for her tonight. (Also, big HAY to my friend Deb who took me Tibet House last night for a talk on “Bare Attention,” which involved a meditation where one of the speakers—I couldn’t see who—asked everybody to turn their cell phones on, in the hopes of increasing the audio information in the air. The other peak of the night was the woman who spoke up and said she had an aversion to therapists who meditate because her colleague meditates and it annoys her. This was said in a room full of meditating therapists who, to their credit, enjoyed her dissent.) Yes, I will do that “Lost” bullshit tonight, even though I am watching the show now as a completist more than as a fan. The descent into narrative spaghetti has me feeling like I showed up at some nerd fraternity’s spring bash and they’re unveiling the winner of the “Spring Madness Challenge”:
HEY GUYS!!! THE ASSIGNMENT THIS TIME IS TO MAKE UP A TREASURE HUNT THAT USES TIME TRAVEL, POLAR BEARS AND THE NAME “SAYID.” YOU MUST USE *ALL* THREE. SEARCH AREA IS LIMITED TO THE QUAD ONLY, PLEASE :) (WE’VE HAD COMPLAINTS FROM TOWNIES ABOUT THE KNIFESCREEN AT AU BON PAIN.) A/V APPLICATIONS WILL BE ACCEPTED. GOOD LUCK! [something in Fortran]
I am adding Karl Hector & The Malcouns to my 2008 list, because that record kept me alive in today’s Scandinavian suicide weather. The Malcouns have a new live show up at Red Bull Music Academy. And I waffled last year about including it anyway. (Oh? And Demon Fuzz? GOT IT.)
somewhere
The P.S. 50 Senior Chorus sings “Over The Rainbow.” I wasn’t interested in showing the kids, as you can (or can’t) see. If anyone has a kid in there and wants me to take it down, I happily will. I just loved the sound of those voices bouncing off that mid-60s concrete NYC ceiling.
January 23, 2009
January 22, 2009
help the people of Gaza
Below are several organizations that have people on the ground providing aid.
American Near East Refuge Aid.
Middle East Children's Alliance.
January 21, 2009
“It has four toes.” (“Lost,” Season 5, Episode 1)
Do Lindelof and Cuse not know what is happening? Or do they pretend? I think that they are improvising and don’t know any more than we do.
“Lost” is the hit series so confusing that it must be re-explained every season, even though much of it needs no explanation. (And what happened to the cold, anonymous lady voice-over? Preferable to these brahs who are stepping out from behind the Oz curtain.)
Kate: Has anyone so hot ever become so dull so quickly?
“Really bad beard.” You made it a hot line, Damon—I made it a hot song.
“We have to go back, Kate!” is the new “You complete me.”
First reveal: vinyl skips.
Second reveal: the Dharma YouTube guy. That VHS was antiqued.
“No, we can’t go back and kill Hitler because Tom Cruise is doing that this quarter.”
I reject this self-pitying version of Jack, drugs and all. MAN UP.
The island appears to have moved to North London, where there are no shirts.
9:16 PM: I told you shirts were important.
9:17 PM: If you were a good scientist, you could explain this.
9:18 PM: God is a d.j. using a crappy Serato set-up.
9:20 PM: Is Locke going to go back in time to save the drugs? SAVE THE DRUGS.
9:21 PM: Creepy Ethan, my least favorite creeperton.
9:26 PM: Asians are the new terrorists.
9:26 PM: Why are TV bad guys still based on James Bond bad guys?
9:28 PM: Hurley vs. Sayid: who has the best lines?
9:28 PM: Even the people on the show do not know the names of the people on the show.
9:29 PM: Hurley is your Greek chorus, the viewer at home.
9:30 PM: Sayid re-enacts “No Country For Old Men” as Oscar bait. Nice use of drying rack.
9:34 PM: “Over here!” is always bad news.
9:35 PM: Sawyer just quoted the African Head Charge LP I was talking to Melvin about. (“My Life In A Hole In The Ground.”)
9:35 PM: “I have spent my entire adult life studying space-time.” THEN WHY DON’T YOU HELP THEM WRITE THE SHOW? OH WAIT, THEY WROTE YOU. THIS IS ALL ABOUT JEAN-LUC GODARD. AWESOME.
9:37 PM: Locke has done enough stumbling around injured. Boring. I want him to fly around and get inaugurated a second time. OOH. Flames. Locke is Barack! Oh, it’s just that guy from Fall Out Boy, Richard.
9:39 PM: Second “No Country” reference: homemade bullet removal.
9:40 PM: “I wish the writers had had more time to finish my lines, John, but we had that whole strike and we couldn't get this awesome CAD model to work. Anyway, we made you die last year so I am going to reference that because I am pretty sure that actually happened.”
9:42 PM: If anybody on “Lost” tried to file an insurance claim, it would induce another recession.
9:45 PM: Rare Earth is cleaning up on licensing.
9:46 PM: The characters are now reading lines submitted by Lost forum members. “So what was this place before you blew it up?”
9:47 PM: Sawyer? No shirt? “Back door?” This is getting very Tennessee Williams.
9:48 PM: Jeremy/Dan is like an on-site continuity guy. This show is in danger of confusing not only the viewers, but everyone involved in making it.
9:49 PM: Everybody in/on/around the show is asking questions.
9:49 PM: Nosebleeds happen right before death, right?
9:50 PM: Desmond! We know he is special! Daniel Farraday!
9:52 PM: I became a musician so that I would not need algebra. This is testing my fandom. I keep expecting someone to ask me “How many oranges does Desmond have left?”
9:54 PM: This is impossible to spoil. We are going in circles.
9:57 PM: Three years before WHAT?
9:59 PM: BLOOP.
9:59 PM: “Do you think anyone is going to believe this TV series?”
10:00 PM: I cannot imagine Hurley not being a bro.
10:01 PM: See? She called him BRO. Michelle is lucky that nobody has ever required her to act.
10:02 PM: Libby? That shit is mean! That was real love, the secondary Desmond/Penny line.
10:05 PM: Axe is trying to co-opt that Truth anti-smoking ad for their boner shampoo.
10:06 PM: The pre-DVD deleted scene is the new B-side.
10:07 PM: When did Rose and Bernard become so lame? And who is this unknown guy?
10:07 PM: I TOLD YOU THIS EPISODE WAS ALL ABOUT SHIRTS.
10:08 PM: Sawyer doesn’t like people stepping on his zingers.
10:09 PM: I have never ever been more pissed off about someone not licensing “Fly Like An Eagle.” How strong would that be? Daniel pulls out the golden whatsit and you hear “Doo doo doo, dit-dit de-doo. Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping...into the future.”
10:11 PM: Good question from Kottke: “Who the hell is Neil?” They don’t need to introduce new/old people while not explaining all the new/old problems with new/old space and time. Oh, Kate, hai.
10:14 PM: “Jack, you know I end every sentence is this weird quiet way.”
10:15 PM: I never get it right—is that Cheech or Chong?
10:21 PM: They are way overdoing the “this show in confusing” meta stuff.
10:21 PM: Hurley is totally a “Lost” fan. He is quoting “The Godfather.”
10:22 PM: Kate is your mom? WORST.
10:23 PM: Ben knows somebody who will put Locke on ICE.
10:24: Thanks, “Lost” producers. Now I have to care about Jill. And obviously Locke is so Frankensteining and Disneying and WAIT, NEIL? Get the fuck out of my diegesis, you newbie.
10:25 PM: “Oh, that headache? That’s the headache-before-you-die headache. I am a terrible date and I do not enunciate.”
10:26 PM: Did Sawyer call Neil “Frogurt”?
10:27 PM: Dear Clive Owen: Why are you so afraid of doing spy movies with cute women? Just try it. Once. Or maybe twice? In the same quarter? Up to you. Just a suggestion.
10:32 PM: Finally! Carnage! And now a stakeout. Hurley as OJ. The stakeout is a West Coast thing.
10:33 PM: Some mother! Not even a “Hi, Hurley!”
10:33 PM: I don’t want to watch these two have to act at the same time.
10:35 PM: Sun is the Tony Soprano of this show.
10:36 PM: “GLYCERINE, STAT! E. LILLY IS DOWN!”
10:37 PM: Don’t show Jack a body. He gets all emo.
10:37 PM: Weird—Hurley’s dad acted like a dad, and Jack acted like a doctor.
10:38 PM: How I know the economy is r**l talk: I just thought about going to Olive Garden.
10:42 PM: MOM.
10:43 PM: Oh, Hugo. You do not want to do this.
10:44 PM: This information will not be leaving the Reyes household.
10:45 PM: Sawyer—unable to not get laid.
10:47 PM: They made “Friday the 13th” on the same set as “Lost”?
10:50 PM: Hasn't Sayid been not breathing for almost an hour?
10:51 PM: We need an infographic of which character on “Lost” has tried to strangle which other character.
10:53 PM: Ben is good. He is also Donald Rumsfeld.
10:54 PM: Hurley! Go in!
10:55 PM: LOCKE is THE RZA.
10:57 PM: Marianne Faithfull is on “Lost” now? No. Judi Dench. Hell. SLOW DOWN.
January 20, 2009
January 19, 2009
January 18, 2009
January 17, 2009
January 15, 2009
jump off the cliff notes
From Tony Karon:
“Over a seven year period preceding the current Israeli operation, the total number of Israelis killed by Hamas rockets fired from Gaza was seventeen. Since Israel withdrew from Gaza three years ago, the number of Palestinians killed by Israeli strikes in Gaza has exceeded 1,700. That kill ratio has been maintained in the current offensive, except that no Israeli civilian has been killed by the rockets fire since it began—the only Israeli fatalities have been soldiers.
Hamas did not fire rockets between June and November because it was observing a cease fire brokered by Egypt. As part of that ceasefire, Israel was supposed to lift the economic siege which one Israeli leader, in the charming spirit of the Wehrmacht, described as ‘not starving the Palestinians, but putting them on a diet.’ Israel didn’t lift that siege because it was hoping that this ‘diet’ would force Palestinians to overthrow the government that they had elected. After Israel broke the ceasefire on November 5th, Hamas resumed large scale rocket fire. But Hamas made clear that it would cease hostilities as soon as there was a truce agreement that included opening the crossings to allow transfer of commerce and food.
At the time, Israel had already had its boot on the throat of the Palestinians in Gaza for eighteen months. When Palestinians lashed out with the only means at their disposal, Israel complained that it was under attack and had to ‘defend’ itself by invading Gaza. As veteran Israeli peace campaigner Uri Avnery wrote last weekend, ‘It's like saying that in 1941, a gang of terrorists called the Red Army took the civilians of Leningrad hostage, forcing the Wehrmacht to bomb them and starve them, just as when the cowardly Churchill gang used the people of London as human shields in 1940, forcing the Luftwaffe to bomb them.’
The people of Gaza are predominantly a refugee population. Their parents and grandparents lived in homes and owned farms in Ashkelon, Ashdod and other Israeli areas into which Hamas fires rockets these days in largely symbolic defiance. (This is ‘armed propaganda,’ which is what all terrorism essentially is: not changing a power relationship so much as drawing attention to it.) That’s why Palestinians want Hamas rather than a Petain figure like Abbas to be their voice in dealing with Israel. Gaza has always been more militant than the West Bank precisely because of its demographic history and makeup.
Israel could have stopped the rocket fire from Gaza by simply putting itself in the position of its adversary. What would Israelis do if they had been forced off their land into a ghetto and then placed under siege? Remember the Warsaw Ghetto? In 1999, the man running the Israeli military campaign, Defense Minister Ehud Barak, was asked by a journalist on the campaign trail what he’d have done if he’d been born Palestinian. His answer said it all: ‘I’d have joined a terror organization.’”
January 09, 2009
January 08, 2009
not only with orange
(via Nikola Tamindzic via @PAPPADEMAS, who adds: “It is from the era when people were all 'we will not know if acid is dangerous until we test it on THE FOXIEST GIRLS IN ENGLAND.'”)
January 07, 2009
do not leave sinead alone
1. Sinead 1989 > _____________.
2. What an injustice, making Sinead sing to a backing track. She tries intermittently to prove herself as she sings. By the end of the performance, she has almost stuck her knife through the veil of nonsense.
3. If I ever thought bands looked dorky on award shows, it is only because I forget how dorky this Top of the Pops shit looks. Sinead is actually singing over the track, but the effect is almost the same as lip-syncing. (I added that XTC link because there it is never a wrong time to hear "Nigel" again and Terry Chambers makes a proper mockery of the pantomime by bringing along steel drums and a GONG.)
4. And: Sinead 1989.
(via Emily.)
Added thought from the Unicorn, Jessica Hopper:
"I have been on a Sinead kick for, like, nineteen years. My almost-favorite thing about this is that SHE IS WEARING BUNCH DARK PURPLE SOCKS AND FLAT, MANNISH, LACE-UP ANKLE BOOTS, which was a cool look for anyone in 1989 but especially good on an awards show. Note that minus the industrial bandage bra, Sinead's outfit is the same as Lauryn's when she won her solo Grammy and Bible-thumped from the stage. Also: wifebeater and lite rinse jeans are reliable signs of greatness."
January 05, 2009
do you
And celebrate this world, you big eggroll head.* (via @Choire)
* Helpful reader points out that Alien head is less like eggroll and more like stuffed cabbage, or an old-school wheel well.
January 04, 2009
January 03, 2009
muffins of triumph
One of the 897 problems I had with Diablo Cody’s “Juno” was the disconnect between dialogue and character. Eighteen year olds talked like thirty-three year olds; forty year olds spoke like twenty-two year olds; and too many actions were tethered to neither logic nor plausible impulse. I didn’t know who I was supposed to be watching or what level of skepticism I was supposed to bring to the table. Michael Cera’s barrage of convulsively sincere Hail Marys was meant to balance out the teams but it wasn’t the right counterweight to Cody’s zeitgeist buckshot. (Sports and guns metaphor pile-up. Ugh. Onwards.)
The “Juno” script did a lot of honking with little soundproofing. Those people wouldn’t say or do those things. Why would a teenager have a thirty-something’s taste in kitsch? Why would a ruthless teenager be friends with an outcast? How would the mercilessly accurate eye of a teenager mistake Ellen Page for anything less than FOYNE? Tedious.
Now, in the Showtime TV series “United State of Tara,” Cody has taken all of that dissonance and stuffed it into the title character, a mother of two played by the wondrous Toni Collette. This decision (and maybe I am reaching) seems like an implicit admission of “Juno”’s flaws. That movie’s insufferable dialogue has literally been pathologized—Tara’s dialogue is distributed among her various fictive personalities. We no longer need to believe the dialogue, because dialogue and character have been, de jure, separated. The words becomes pure performance, connected only to the vague backstory of “Mom’s problem.” Not only do we not have to buy Tara’s schtick, we have a whole cast of characters (our Greek chorus of family and friends) confirming that Tara’s various voices are all equally false, which allows us to enjoy them at face value in a way we couldn’t in “Juno,” where had to BUY it. In “USOT,” we only have to buy that people flip out and act out, which is both more interesting and a much easier sell.
“United States of Tara”: password: tara
(Also hard not to project some imagined version of Cody’s own misgivings about going red carpet onto Tara’s first videotaped speech/message in a bottle.)